We’ve already accepted that we can’t write about every place we visit. We just don’t write that much, so we like to focus our posts on areas, people, and stories that really stand out in our minds. That’s not to say other places aren’t worth writing about; we could certainly write about that time we swam into a cave full of calcified skeletons of Mayan sacrifice victims in Belize, or the time the Salvadorean family we were staying with slaughtered their adorable pet bunny for us to eat.
But Guatemala… well, Guatemala is magical and anyone who’s been there will likely say the same. We have regularly been stunned by the kindness of the people here. Not like “hospitality is in their culture” kindness, but genuine personal connection kindness. Add to that gorgeous landscapes and vibrant indigenous culture, and Guatemala has become one of, if not our favorite place we’ve visited anywhere. Unfortunately it also comes with its challenges, such as extreme poverty exacerbated by a super corrupt embarrassment of a government who refuses to provide basic infrastructure to its already struggling population.
Trust in Beatrix
Our time in Guatemala started in the Northeast as we entered from Belize. We explored the ruins of Tikal, camped next to an indigenous village where almost no one spoke Spanish, and toured a coffee farm in Alta Verapaz. All great stuff, all essential parts of a visit to Guatemala. But we had friends waiting for us in Lake Atitlan, and the promise of cooler weather compelled us to start the drive from Coban to the lake.
Day 1
We had heard that the roads in Guatemala are terrible, but up until this point they had been fantastic – the roads in Peten are mostly brand new… so maybe it was all overblown. After all, people complain about the roads in Mexico and they were all pretty good. So we set our GPS and started the drive without a second thought. After a few minutes we turned off the nice, new highway and on to a dirt road through a village. Okay, no big deal, plenty of trucks and buses driving through. The map shows a major highway across this part of the country, so it must get better once we get past these villages, right?
Nope. After a few kilometers the landscape opened up to reveal lush, steep mountains with one dirt rode chiseled into the hillsides and no end in sight. “Hey uh, didn’t Drive Nacho Drive write about how they ended up on a nightmare road on their drive to Lake Atitlan?” Stephanie asked as we dropped into first gear and started the slow journey. Despite the blatant foreshadowing, it wasn’t all that bad. We continued for hours through partially cleared landslides, roadside trash dumps, and tiny villages, eventually reaching pavement and our planned camping spot for the night. We slept well thinking the worst of it was behind us. Oh stupid, naïve gringos.
Day 2
Day two found us jazzed to reach Lake Atitlan so we hit the road early, marveling at the relative luxury of a paved highway. Our enthusiasm waned only slightly when we turned off the nice highway onto a slightly lower quality paved road. That road turned into a pretty good gravel road, which deteriorated into a rocky road through a village, which deteriorated into a rutted out dirt track through farm lands. At that point we accepted that we were going the wrong way, but it was a long way back to the main highway and we are stubborn, dear reader, so stubborn. So we carried on.
Over the next several hours we pushed ourselves and our van to new limits on roads that would make me nervous in a 4×4. Our motto became “trust in Beatrix” because that’s all we could do as we slowly picked our way around two-foot deep ruts and hills so steep I’m shocked our tires could stick to them. We were in deep and there was no way out if the van couldn’t pull through. Every time we saw a new road coming up on the map we would hope for pavement or at least gravel, and every time our hearts sank as we saw the next circle of our current hell.
Our minds cracked around hour two. Nervousness melted away into madness and we found ourselves laughing hysterically at each new challenge. Bring it on Guatemala, Beatrix is an indestructible titan of steel and rubber! Bow before her might! Over mountain tops and through valleys we fought, and at last we emerged victorious. We stumbled into the final village before pavement started. Bloodied and bruised, but alive and unscathed. I will never forget the expressions worn by the locals that watched us drive into their town. They might as well have been saying “Where the fuck did those gringos just come from?!”.
That day was difficult, but it was a necessary evil. While we have driven some pretty bad roads since then, they all seemed tame in comparison. Now we can start our journey through South America knowing that we can survive whatever it throws at us. But wherever we find ourselves, “trust in Beatrix” will remain our motto.